"Littler Britain - The Meeting Pt2
Getting to Bournemouth proved problematic, we left at 4:45 but the journey, due to rush hour takes two and a half bloody hours, but the thought of the show keeps us bouyed and we have Tom Tom to help re-route us if necessary. We get the car parked and enter the building, it's a bloody massive building, and it will play host to 4500 eager, enthusiastic fans, all waiting to see their fave characters from Little Britain, we can't wait.

The show opens with the familiar, rousing strains of David Arnold's "feem toon", which I think should become the National Anthony you know. We get the "Who is they? What are them", from good old Uncle Tom but being a fan you'll know exactly what you are about to get. The backdrops are computer generated and projected onto a huge white screen, and the opening "Little Britain Live" accompanies the title music. And the crowd goes wild, applause, cheers, whistles, for those that are about to be funny we truly salute you.

Matt and David's first characters to make an appearance, to a huge, cheer that conveys fondness and an anticipation of things to come, are Lou who has only lost Andy. He addresses the audience to no avail. Moments later Andy, in his own inimitable way makes a spectacular entrance. And the crowd start shouting "he's behind you". Matt and David as Andy and Lou make some jibes at the expense of Bournemouth, then themselves. Andy then gets Lou to do his impression, which, speaking as an authority on impressions and as a professional mimic is the single direst, "crap", impression ever, (intentionally!) but side splitting and leads to a great set up for a catchphrase punchline.

Gav Can't Wait...

At this point, dear reader, I am torn whether or not to give you a blow by blow account (from my near photographic memory, which has kept up with the times and is now a 512 Mb job) and thus potentially put huw-ge spoilers in it, which may err, spoil things. Or leave stuff out and just do what I did for series three, give an outline of what to expect. But then there are some big fans who'll not get to see it. Argghhh, the agony. OK, I am going to make a cuppa, think about it, and I'll be back.

Tea, black, one sugar...

...25 mins later.

OK, I am going to skim the surface, picking out the highlights and dipping in when I think it appropriate, if you need to see it first hand, go to eBay buy a ticket.
You may have to re-mortgage first.

Right, there. As my Nan used to say " , (the photographic memory runs in the family) you can't please all of the people all of the time, but you can make a cuppa and think about it."

...Neither can Stu

Emily Howard and her err, lady friend Florence then enter dans le bicyclette pour deux and have a marvellous time at the Anchor & Gonhorrea public house where they meet a lovely sailor ably played by Paul Putner who appears in the series as a Fat Fighter (oh you know, the bloke in the black t-shirt and leather jacket, who's going to have a baby in the third series, way to go Paul!!!)

If ye were to ask us on a Friday
The Ray MacCooney sketch whizzes by and we, as an audience are starting to settle in, it's like climbing into a hot bath, at first you are aware of the heat and it's a bit insistent, and your not sure you're going to like it but then it all settles down and you forget about everything else and just relax into the soothing water's avuncular hug. Well that was what the show was like; initially you are just staring because you cannot believe the characters are right there, doing it live, in front of your very eyes. And the scene changes are slick, slick, slick as for the costume changes, well, a Tony should be awarded to the costume team, good work chaps and chapesses. As an aside - was one of the follow spot controllers an ex WW2 searchlight operator? I think he was a graduate from the Helen Keller Academy for Lighting Operators and a subscriber to the Shaft of Darkness Appreciation Society. Anyway, whinge over (sorry if you were that soldier, we all have bad nights, ask the Sound/Mic Op!!!), the rest of the night was technical excellence, slick scene changes, great visuals and props and costumes that added to the humour. There is a moment where a prop goes astray in this sketch but David covers it with comedic alacrity, panache and consummate professionalism. The audience knows they are in safe hands and the performers never miss a beat.

The Mr. Mann sketch from the third series is in there, as the characters walk on the audience who were boistrous but well behaved started shouting "Marrgrettt, Marrrgretttt!!!" Oh, and Maroonity is a word that should be added to the public lexicon.

Carol Beer at the travel agency is great fun and even mentions Guildford, yay! There is a cracking moment as an old man (Paul Putner) slooooowwwwlllllyyyy makes his way to the chair in front of her desk.

The politician's apology was a recycled sketch from the TV series but was like greeting an old friend, I am sure David and Matt could have just done a "best of" sketch compilation and the audience would have loved it, they are playing to a home crowd after all. But there were many, many new sketches, and the standard was as high as ever.

Wite Da Feem Toon, Sing da Feem Toon
We get a brave attempt at the Denis Waterman, Jeremy Rent sketch which has a great ad lib when an unruly prop goes astray, and for me what makes the sketches is their reference to cultural white elephants, Rula Lenska, Linda Bellingham, Byker Grove. Not conventionally cool things but somehow cool enough for school, err, if you see what I am driving at. Tom's voice tells us we are in Cuntington, cue laughter. He then interjects again and says it's alright it's spelt with a K... Many of these voice overs are genius and I would like to know who writes them, their over written, pomposity is writing brilliance, so who comes up with them Matt? David? Answers on an email...

We get to see Anne as a contestant on a well-known ITV lookalike karaoke show. She is introduced and struts her stuff and is quite conversational, then goes off and comes back as... Well in the tradition of the programme all will be revealed if you go see the show... Let's just say that it is very funny and she then leaves the stage and it just descends into chaos, which is usually what happens when I am doing her, I mean performing her... Leave it.

Skip to the End
Des Kaye has a fun time with two members of the audience and plays hide the sausage, which is not exactly what you might think it is... Oh, alright, it is exactly what you think it is and highly amusing nonetheless.

Kenny Craig goes to the jewellers with his fiancée and ends up hypnotising the audience and works in a gag about buying the merchandise, good work fella...

Fat Fighters Meeting

Fat Fighters is introduced and the crowd goes wild as Marjorie Dawes comes on and runs through what is high fat and low fat, as you would expect it's not would you would expect, if you catch my drift. She then goes into the audience and pulls out a "fattie" who she then weighs, as she is looking for a victim she says "This will probably be the single most humiliating experience ever" and she is not wrong, it ends with him winning a huge, white

oversized t-shirt (think duvet cover with sleeves) that she tells him may be a bit snug.

Sebastian and the PM suffers for not having Anthony Head, Matt Lucas substitues, would have worked better as a "Chancellor" but after what the lads will put him through in the third series it's no wonder he's not on the tour. But we get a full frontal nude of David "being a woman", which sends the crowd into apoplexy.

David Shows The Tan Lines

The W.I. ladies and the vomit sketch passes, personally I thought the ending was a tad weak, however that may have been due to the mic problems and being so far from the stage it was difficult to hear what was being said and the rest of the show more than makes up for that one moment, hats off for doing the vomit scenes anyway.

Vicky Pollard makes her own inimitable entrance with "Five different babies from six diffrent men" and the crowd almost pass out with excitement, in fact every character walks onto the stage to a warm round of applause and cheering. It's great, and the lads love it. It's an all to familiar response, when we get to play these characters we get such a buzz from the reaction of an audience that doing it to venues 10X larger must be 10X the buzz.

Bubbles De Vere reveals her flabtastic glory, to all, and her glory is quite hairy let me tell you.... But does offer to buy a round of champagne for "EVERYONE!!!!". And the Uni Secretary is belting with her un-PC comments about the students.

Another two new characters are introduced, Dudley and Ting Tong Macadangdang, and if this is just a taster for the 3rd series I can't wait for main course and pudding, cheese board and coffee and mints for afters.

The End is Nigh
We are then almost at the end, but finish on the best sketch of the night, if only the mics had worked, but the ad libbing was spot on and just helped fuel the fans devotion to all things David and Matt.. Daffydd Thomas wanders in and the crowd erupts, like Krakatoa (I would have said Vesuvius but in my opinion, although less deadly Krakatoa is a funnier word due to the plethora of K's which is a Komedik Kornerstone. To whit: Funny animals. Monkey, Donkey, Kangaroo. Not Funny, Pigeon, Mouse, Pig. See.)

The Daffydd sketch then hits top gear and becomes an all out action dance number, worthy of the Funky Fudgemeisters themselves, the Pet Shop Boys. It could have done with 200 gays mincing on and performing the routine behind him, but sadly he was the only gay, plus David (in a fetching matching number) and Paul and the dangerously sexy Sam Power,

Daffydd Laments

Daffydd Thomas Dancers

who featured as the female foil throughout the evening and did a damn fine job, although being as svelte and gawguss she threatened to distract, however she managed to reel in her feminine wiles for the duration, and does a good job indeedy. But all eyes are on Daffydd and his proud to be gay song, which is toe tappingly terrific.

And that my fans is it. The performers bow, curtain closes, lights up, we exit. End of the evening...

Except it isn't, and as we sat sipping champers with David and Matt backstage in their executive Jacuzzi suite we laughed at how the characters take on a life of their own once in front of an audience, swapping tales of gigs past, oh, how fun.  Gav then prodded me as I was daydreaming and holding the crowd up.

Book a Little Britain theme night for your event, venue or guests. We come, bedeck your venue with Union Jacks and Llanddewi Brefi signs. Have Daffydd and Emily greeting your guests, Lou and Andy walking about and Anne and Kenny Craig creating mayhem. Our Digital photographer will snap your guests against our Union Jack backdrop for a momento. All told it's a great night and will tie in nicely with the upcoming tour of Little Britain. We supply prizes for the best dressed guest as a Little Britain character.

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